Todays top 5

  • Beer is proof God Loves us and wants us to be happy.
  • I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
  • Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
  • I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
  • He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

😉 😉 😉

Groucho Marx Funny Quotes

  • A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
  • I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
  • Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
  • Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Funny Albert Einstein Quotes

  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  • Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
  • The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
  • A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
  • The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
  • The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Top 10 Hilarious Quotes ever!

Here is the top 10 Hilarious Quotes!

  • WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. ~ Erica Jong
  • I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  • I have two daughters and both are girls.
  • Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much. ~ Oscar Wilde
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. ~ Steve Martin
  • I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
  • Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~ Erma Bombeck
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

:-)  :-)  :-)